So I have this story idea. I’m just straight up gonna call it “TIME INN”

[XanderXero]

i just remembered the “New Mutants” discussion forum. Imma go see if I can still work on this story or if i’m too late and offer my services to somebody else’s story. off to the other discussion thread, Robin!

here’s my story idea though:

Time Inn

“Iggy” Ignatius vs. His Younger Self

Background: Iggy gets embroiled in occult occurrences either because A) he’s a meddling, curious, know-it-all. B) His skepticism wants to prove how there’s a logical explanation for “paranormal” events and C) he’s just plain unlucky.

Set up: Iggy is the middle of investigating a case. Stumbling around in the dark, he is looking around with his cellphone flashlight on. He is accompanied by his every now and then sidekick Miguel Ochoa.

Miguel asks Iggy how he’s making money from “ghostbusting” and after some reluctance, Iggy goes into a flashback.

We see Iggy go do a ritual. He then gets pulled into a middle dimension where a “gatekeeper” questions him about screwing around with time. He is given a 5 minute time limit to wherever his destination is, and is warned that if he goes over the time limit, he’ll lose his life.

Iggy then slips through another portal and crashes into his younger self, walking towards the streets where the bars are located in the downtown area. They crash into a neon sign of one particular bar.

Younger Iggy questions older Iggy.. And decided that the only way he can be certain that the only way he would “know himself” is if they fight each other.

a few martial arts panels of the two fighting each other The last second before time runs out, older Iggy tells his younger self to put all his money on bitcoin. He disappears and the only thing that proves to younger Iggy that the whole thing happened is the broken neon sign they crashed into earlier that reads “Time Inn”.

We go back to the current timeline and Miguel thinks the whole story is bullshit. Iggy just shrugs.

[redheadeded]

Dude, you might be a little late to the party, but I like this story. Iggy seems like a fun fighting type of guy, I like that both characters in the beginning have unique personailities.

There are some writers still here on the fourms that are looking for artist to work with so I strongly suggest you team up the first time in, but with that said.. if you wanted to move forward with this story.. I’m very interested to see where it goes.

Two points of constructive critism..

1. How much of the ‘set up’ your first three paragraphs there is necessary? Keep in mind this is only 8 pages and a cover, so be aware of trying to give the reader too much information all at once, KISS always (keep it simple stupid) it’s a pharse I have been told a LOT in my creative career and it can help cull down things when needed.
   2. What is the more important character interaction Iggy and Miguel? Iggy and the gatekeeper? or Iggy and young Iggy? if you have too many character interactions it might be hard to follow, not impossible but something to take a look at in the early stages.

   Good Luck and and thanks for posting! Check out some of the other peoples works and keep commenting, you are doing great.

D Alley, the Redheadeded.

[XanderXero]

ack. i’ll try and catch up. maybe i can spend a couple of hours today to go through the next steps. Thank you so much for your feedback. now i gotta sit here and think about the points you just presented.