• Old Bermuda- Plot Revisions

  • Kyle Francisco

    May 21, 2021 at 1:45 am
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    CBS Forum Member: Forum Acolyte

    Let me try this again.

    I really appreciate the insight from D Alley.

    Page 1. Our main character, Hiro, comes across an unfathomable place as he disappears somewhere on the Pacific during a flight.

    Page 2. As he starts to gain his bearings, some of the locals greet him. I was thinking out doing a nod to having Amelia Earhart appear having tea in one of the panels here, or the previous page (but, is that distasteful?)

    Page 3. There is one large, eerie building on the island. I am hoping to give it the out of place feeling like the Black Barn from Gideon Falls.

    Page 4. People give no real answers about it. I’ve decided that people just stay away from the building and the topic of the building because there is something uneasy about it. (I don’t know whether to take this into a supernatural or extraterrestrial direction.)

    Page 5. Someone alerts the locals to dead bodies floating up from the directions of a cove beneath the building. Here, I am torn between showing gore, or letting the readers come to there own imagination about the grisly scene.

    Page 6. Undeterred by the horrific scene, our protagonist decides to investigate. After all, this is about the protection/welfare of the many.

    Page 7. Hiro comes across terrible information. It is possible to escape this dimension through vast human sacrifice. He also confronts the killer.

    Page 8. Hiro must face the conflict of losing out on a return trip home, or doing what is best for the many.

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0 of 0 posts June 2018