• Assassins in the Dark

  • krisburgos

    February 24, 2021 at 9:38 am

    Assassins in the Dark: A Corrupted Tale

    The battle between good and evil has raged since creation.

    The never-ending fight seeped beyond the borders of Heaven and Hell two thousand years ago, but like a bottle, the conflict was capped before the world took notice.

    A thousand years ago, the bottle was opened and the conflict spilled into the world of man. After several centuries of struggle, the threat to this world was miraculously brought to an end.

    Or was it?

    Over the years, the descendants of the secret faction hiding the truth of what entered this world has slowly whittled away and that ancient truth is about to be uncovered.

    This story takes place in a small tavern in the outskirts of Jerusalem. The Church has an expedition of archaeologists digging at a site several miles away in the middle of the Judaean Desert, believing they have found something of extreme value. When the lead archaeologist of the dig falls mysteriously ill, the Church calls in another renowned archaeologist, professor, and religion critic to replace him.

    The good professor, exhausted from his recent flight from Boston, sits at the bar of the tavern having a coffee and looks at top-secret documents, awaiting his ride to the dig site. Two mysterious figures observe him from a distance.

    Two descendants trying to keep a sacred promise.

    A father and daughter trying to hide an unholy secret.

    In their chatter, they discuss how best to end the man’s life. The father proposes to speak to the man to test his character and that will dictate how best to deal his doom. After striking up a conversation with the man, they decide that the professor could become an asset and allow him to live another day for future attempts at turning him to their cause. The father takes some bloodstained keys from his pocket and identifies themselves as his drivers. As they help the man into their car, the daughter steps in the way of a fresh corpse hidden under some crates around the corner. The bloody body of the original driver.

  • thesurrealari

    February 24, 2021 at 11:11 am


    I really like this idea. The story is right up my alley. I’m actually familiar with a lot of the locations you mention here, so if you want to bounceanything off me, feel free to do so. My only question is how you’re going to weave in the backstory given the 8-page limit. I’ll be following with interest.

    • krisburgos

      February 25, 2021 at 10:58 am

      Thanks Ari!

      I spent a lot of time thinking on that aspect and I have 2 directions to go. As it stands, the backstory will cover the first 2-3 pages, as an action and horror-filled create-a-mystery, followed by a primarily talking heads comic of people at a tavern. Which, granted, sounds boring (I have the details to add more to it) but the focus is the character build of the professor as well as the assassins.

      The variant on the story would be 3 short stories of 3 archaeologists/explorers/zealots throughout the centuries who would get as far as sitting in this exact tavern with the first two getting assassinated while the 3rd (most modern) survives to continue beyond the tavern to seek the truth. I feel this version of the story doesn’t afford a good opportunity for any real character development making the payoff harder because the explorers’ personalities and motivations are what separate them.

      I’ll definitely reach out if I have any questions on the area or region, you’re officially my local guide! Thanks.

  • redheadeded

    March 1, 2021 at 10:22 am


    I love this idea, and I can’t wait to see how it works out. And how the Time Inn theme will be integrated. I have so many questions, but i’ll wait for the first draft story.


    D Alley, the Redheadeded

  • MisterAnderSiN

    March 2, 2021 at 9:21 am

    Thank you for filling out the form I have sent you an email and a way to contact me if needed directly.

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0 of 0 posts June 2018