ModeratorMay 11, 2020 at 4:28 amCouncil-21: Council of the Willing - 2021
Here is the current draft of my script for Mr. Stupendous. Thank you to those who provided feedback on the plot. I’ve incorporated some of it here,
A couple of focus questions for your consideration:
- I considered two insets on P1, but ultimately decided against them. The first was of Mr. Stupendous telling his wife he would have to work late; the second was of him on the receiving end of the punch that gave him the black eye. If I include these, they would, most likely be in thought bubbles, as he is remembering the night while looking in the window (Think of the old Will Eisner-style opening splash pages from The Spirit). Do you think I should add them back in or leave the page as is (with just the one panel)?
- On page 3, should I add a panel where the sky darkens forebodingly before the actual rain starts. It would allow me to have the sky blue when he starts flying, adding to the comic effect, but I’m not sure that’s entirely necessary.
- On page four, do you think there needs to be one more panel showing him changing (possibly while walking down the stairwell)
- On the turn from 7-8: Do you think I should move the first panel from page 8 back to page 7? Part of me thinks it’s really part of that action, but I don’t want to crowd the page.
A couple of other notes:
- There aren’t any character descriptions in the comic, because they appear in the character design document I sent my artist a couple of weeks ago.
- The script is not fully proofed yet. I find it silly to proofread before the text is finalized, as, if changes are made, you have to do the work twice.
- This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by thesurrealari.