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MemberMay 7, 2020 at 11:11 am
I’m a little late to the party on this one but here is my revised outline. I’m still a little unsure of the pacing on pages 6-8 so if anyone has any suggestions I’d love to hear them. Thanks!
The story opens in medias res as Abigail is stomping around the woods. She stumbles upon the time machine and falls in. It blips out of existence. While this is playing out we get a glimpse of her inner monologue via captions. Subtextually we can glean she had a fight with her parents off-panel about not accepting responsibility for her actions.
In the future, the time machine appears, and Abigail tumbles out. Stunned, she starts to take in the sights around her and is noticed by a police officer (who can be seen in the background of the first panel). He approaches and questions her about the time machine and if she has permits to operate it.
When Abigail can’t produce the proper paperwork, the officer says he’s arresting her for stealing the time machine. She pleads that this isn’t the case, and she has no idea how she got there. While He radios into headquarters that he’s apprehended someone for temporal theft, Abigail takes the opportunity to break his grip and flee.
Abigail gives chase. She puts some distance between her and Officer Rob before being spotted by pigeons wearing security cameras. We see a shot from their perspective with a caption for Dispatch to Radio Abigail’s position to Rob.
Abigail ducks behind an information kiosk, thinking she is safe. Rob finds Abigail and tells her she needs to take responsibility for her actions. She says she’s tired of being told that, throws her clutch at him and takes off running.
Abigail spots another time machine being set up by its owner. Knocking him over, she jumps inside and slams the door shut. The machine’s A.I. asks her when she wants to go. She tells it 5 minutes before she left. The A.I. scans her, gets a temporal lock, and blinks out of existence.
The time machine pops back into the present. Abigail runs back to the campsite to warn herself. When she gets there, her parents tell her, ‘that was quick.” Realizing she has just missed herself, she runs back into the woods.
She gets to the time machine just in time to see her ‘past self’ fall in. After witnessing the loop she’s created, she returns to the campsite. With the realization that she was indeed guilty of stealing the time machine, she apologizes to her family for not taking responsibility for her earlier transgression.