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ModeratorApril 27, 2020 at 3:25 am
Here is my revised plot. I added the extra page at the office, and, though I received feedback that advised making room for this page both by consolidating the beginning and by consolidating the end, ultimately, I decided to consolidate the end, largely because of the the @mywritinghero session on the story circle. Pages 1/8 now parallel, as do pages 2/7. Pages 4-6 basically comprise the “road of trials” if we are using Campbell’s framework, and that is often the longest part of the story.
At this point, I am basically ready to script. Often, I find that most of the specific issues work themselves out in the scripting process. I did add a couple of feedback questions after the plot:
STUPENDOUS PLOT-DRAFT 2
TITLE: A DAY IN THE LIFE OF MR STUPENDOUS
P1—Night—MR STUPENDOUS stands on a rooftop, in costume on his cell phone. He is telling someone he will be late, again.
–Fight scene in which Mr. Stupendous is hit in the eye, but, ultimately, prevails.
–Mr. Stupendous arrives home (through his window), to find his wife asleep. The clock reads “3:00AM”—Stupendous.
P2—Same bed, same clock the alarm goes off at 6am, the first panel mirrors the last on the previous page. STUPENDOUS reaching to hit the snooze as his WIFE remains asleep.
–Stupendous’ in his bathroom applying his wife’s makeup to cover a black eye. S/he’s running out of concealer.
–Stupendous, in his secret identity/business attire says goodbye to his wife before going to work. As he walks down the hall, he hears her (using his super-hearing) whisper that she hopes he isn’t cheating on her.
P3—The morning commute: STUPENDOUS rushes to the subway, misses his train—“stupendous”
–Stupendous changes into his costume and tries to fly to work, quickly, so as not to be late.
–As he flies through the air, carrying his briefcase, and brown paper bag lunch.
–The sky darkens
P4—STUPENDOUS on the rooftop of his office. Think of any number iconic batman or daredevil scenes, but our hero looks like shit—he’s soaked, makeup has worn off, the remnants of his destroyed (now empty) lunch bag hang in his hands.
The hero, now changed (possible transition panel of him either changing or entering the roof door) enters the office, at 9 AM. (Might make it 9:05 so that he’s technically late.
–BOSS berates Stupendous for slovenly appearance (possibly being late).
–BOSS hands Stupendous a file with work that has to be done by the end of the day.
P5-Watchmen-style grid, symbolic of the way he’s trapped by his job and also because the repeating panels would work well in this format. Each panel shows the same view of the office, MR STUPENDOUS sitting at his desk, working on the computer. There’s an old analog clock on the wall, that advances throughout the day as it drags on, and a window.
The action is as follows:
–Stupendous working at the desk.
–A call for help (op) from the window
–Stupendous (in costume) flying out of the window
–An empty office/open window
–Stupendous back at the desk
–Stupendous asleep (napping because he’s tired from the late night before)
–Wakes up (it’s 4:30) good thing I have super-speed…
–Hands file to BOSS, who replies “stupendous.”
P6—5:10 PM—outside the office—A distant cry for help—This looks like a job for…MR STUPENDOUS!
–As long as he can find a phone booth to change—Oh no!, no phonebooths.
–A series of attempts to change in various weird locations, and can’t for various reasons (a line at the restroom; a video surveillance camera in a back alley, etc)
–He has to change in a port-a-potty—“Stupendous.”
P7—Arriving late, because of the action on the previous page—STUPENDOUS joins a battle, late (What took you so long?)
–Stupendous’ strikes the decisive blow.
–The heroes are victorious.
–The other heroes ask Stupendous out for a drink to celebrate, but he refuses. He has to get home to his wife.
–Stupendous flies off, as the other heroes make snarky remarks as he flies away, with a sonic boom that breaks the sound barrier.
P8—STUPENDOUS breaks the sound barrier, flies across the ocean to France.
–Buys wine from a vinter in the French countryside
–Calls wife on cell—meet me on the roof in one hour:
–Setting the table, also somewhere a new suit/garment bag from Italy.
–The couple sits down to eat, clinks glasses (with the French wine)
–Stupendous asks her what she thinks; she answers, “Stupendous.”
- I am considering modifying the turn from P3-4 so that it doesn’t start raining until 4. I feel like that’s a nice page turn reveal, however, it might make the transition to the rest of the action on P4 awkward.
- Alternatively, I am considering making the rooftop scene full-page (with a couple of insets indicating the needed exposition with entering the office/the boss). I like the irony of the iconic rooftop scene, and feel like it could be a striking image, and also a nice visual contrast with the many-paneled page 5, but OTOH, it make make the expository action unclear.
- On the last page, I’m considering making the page (or part of the page) parallel action with Stupendous/Wife’s perspective rather than just Stupendous perspective, which it is now.
Thanks in advance.