Forums Forums 8-Page Challenge #1 for NYCC 2020 (COMPLETED) #8PgChallenge – STEP 2 – Feedback + Plotting Reply To: #8PgChallenge – STEP 2 – Feedback + Plotting

  • philipspace

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    April 21, 2020 at 11:33 pm
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    @thesurrealari

    I think p1 is a better place to cut, and that compressing the action on p7-8 into one page.<

    Agreed.
    You might find it helpful to take a sheet of paper and breakdown the events with simple stick-figures, too. Nothing elaborate, just enough to give your artist a sense of pacing. I find this really helpful when I’m scripting.

    @toddmatthy

    The only thing I would do is clarify the ending. It reads like a cliffhanger. Maybe have a line about “charging up the portal” to put a cap on it.<

    I think the line I’d like to use will be “This portal should take us just outside the castle…”
    I think I’d like to establish that she’s not completely in control of the tech she’s using. I do want a cliffhanger in case I decide to continue this story.