Forums Forums 8-Page Challenge #1 for NYCC 2020 (COMPLETED) #8PgChallenge – STEP 2 – Feedback + Plotting Reply To: #8PgChallenge – STEP 2 – Feedback + Plotting

  • sathem

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    April 17, 2020 at 7:57 am
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    I got some feedback from a friend and here’s my breakdown!

    Paradiso

    Page 1: wide shot of the expedition, the jungle is alien and wild
    there is a clear division between the boffers and the grunts
    Samander hitches a ride on the side of the burden-beast
    The boffers sneer at her and the grunts have a good-natured envy

    Page 2: A brief rest means Samander starts peeling vegetables
    the procession is started up again, disrupting Samander
    they travel though a tree-tunnel
    and emerge and discover a tomb

    Page 3: Samander distributes lunch, the boffers are discussing translations
    The grunts are discussing curses
    They are shot down and told it has been 50 years since sapient life went extinct

    Page 4: The seal is broken and Samander is picked (forced) to go along
    they come across a big chamber with a river, an island in the center
    on the island lies a ‘corpse’

    Page 5: the man is still alive

    Page 6: the boffers discuss the man
    samander brings him a meal which he denies so she sits with him to eat it
    he monologues at her and decides he likes her

    Page 7: Samander wakes and everyone is gone
    She leaves the tomb to the scene of a massacre

    Page 8: the man finishes eating from the crew and introduces himself
    He decides Samander will be his companion and will lend credibility to their rescue
    she decides why the hell not because she was taking shit jobs anyway