ModeratorJune 16, 2021 at 12:39 am
First off love that you use a different pun than everyone else.
I think you have a strong foundation. The science fiction elements are really cool.
I wonder about the choice to ask for an explanation of the time ones. Is there a more subtle way of doing this?
I also think you have an opportunity to expand the the ending. I would like more description, detail, showing, etc. I know you’re up against the word count, but it’s ok to go over by a little bit. We could always cut words later.