Forums Forums 8-Page Challenge #2 8-Page Challenge #2 > Step 2 > Flash Fiction Flash Fiction, incomplete draft for “Time Inn” Reply To: Flash Fiction, incomplete draft for “Time Inn”

  • thesurrealari

    June 15, 2021 at 11:33 pm
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    Ted, I think the choice to focus and narrow was a good one. You still have two parallel stories, and I’m not sure how they’re connected yet. I think a closing comment by the bartender that conflates the non-entropic travel with the repetitive nature of the Thor/Fae/Dragon story might tie it together.

    Alternatively, one of the other characters could make the remark, I think the narrator works best, but it doesn’t have to come from him. I think that kicker at the end would make a big difference, though.