ModeratorJune 7, 2021 at 12:57 am
There seems to be some issues with my internet, and my reply doesn’t seem to have posted the first time. If it posts double, I apologize.
Joel, first off Thank You.
Secondly, as I mentioned above, It doesn’t really matter how the son died, just that he’s dead. It’s flash fiction, and not a novel, so I chose to keep the moment in the immediate, and focus on the present (such as it is in the speculative world of the hotel) rather than diving too much into her specific past. I feel like focusing too much on her past, would mess with the momentum of the shifting time periods as she moves through the hotel. I could play with putting it back in, but am hesitant to do so.
The second critique is interesting. I did have a section early on in a draft about her family criticising her for having this job despite her education but I took it out for a few reasons: A, I felt it read a a bit insulting to people in that line of work; B. There is a long literary tradition of erudite working class characters; and C. I would imagine that working in a hotel of that nature, one would become familiar with the historical details of each room. It’s probably part of the orientation for the job, and I would imagine that each room would feature some sort of placard or explanation card. Being in the rooms every day would also pique her curiosity, I think.
It’s interesting that Gatsby seems to have tripped up both you and Kris. Gatsby was a deliberate choice. It’s taught in many–if not most high schools (practically every one in the New York area), and it’s been adapted into major Hollywood films, feature A list actors. It’s not unreasonable for someone with a high school diploma to be familiar with it enough to make the swimming pool remark (which is because of how Gatsby dies; it has nothing to do with the son). If people are finding that to be too much of a red herring, I could change it.
I’d like to get some more opinions if any one else wants to give feedback about that specific issue.
Thank you for your feedback. I’m looking forward to seeing the illustrations.