ModeratorJune 5, 2021 at 10:35 am
@thesurrealari Loving this story, and definitely sparked a lot of ideas (not sure where to post my sketch…maybe here?)
I agree with @krisburgos it’s unclear what happened to the chambermaid’s son. Is this to be left to the reader to interpret?
If left to the reader to interpret (as you’ll see in my sketch), I’m thinking of finding ways to hint at it — or at least provide my own interpretation (e.g. she lost her young adult son to a national tragedy like the Twin Towers).
Even with your prompt to pay attention to the info-dump(s) I hadn’t really felt to heavy-handy as it were. But, this being a first-person story I gotta ask: How educated is this chambermaid? Some of the vocabulary i.e. word choices she uses doesn’t really feel working-class…but, if she’s not working-class then maaaybe work in more of that she is familiar with texts like Gatsby. And/or, when talking about scholarly patrons she could mention her own, “I’m too familiar with these types, especially before I dropped out of grad school.”
Exciting story and thrilled to be on your team, my friend! Kirbyspeed ~Joel