MemberApril 16, 2020 at 5:17 am
David Shear: Interested in how this one will play out in more details. As far as I can see now, the main event/action is the fight with the barbarians. Doesn’t seem satisfying enough though. Like the set up is how Hana wishes for more then her tavern life, yet feels better after getting a personal guard so that she can continue working there? Maybe it would make sense if Hana felt uneasy or scared of her new inherited job and feels better after meeting Kei to protect her.
Todd Matthy: The hole in the sky story doesn’t seem very finished. There’s a lot of action in him trying to invent items and the commentary between him and Rose but having him just disappear seems odd. There is no set up or pay off. And the fact that he’s an artist doesn’t seem to add to the story either. Maybe suggest something deeper in how she pushed him to go in the hole and link it to her reaction of him disappearing.
I would also avoid the virus story for now. Heh And the wrestling story seems interesting too.