Forums Forums 8-Page Challenge #2 8-Page Challenge #2 > Step 3 > Plot Revisions Last warning: The flight of Philippides – Plot Revisions Reply To: Last warning: The flight of Philippides – Plot Revisions

  • ASAP

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    April 18, 2021 at 5:54 am
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    CBS Forum Member: Forum Acolyte

    Joel, love the ideas and as usual, “get outta my head, dude”.

    Regarding your notes:

    Page 1: Great Idea. I’ll flesh that out in when I do the actual dialog.

    Page 2: Also a great idea. Speaking of the supporting character (SC), I was toying around with the idea of having the Main character (MC) try to get help the SC escape but only to have them not make it. Might be a nice emotional gut punch, especially if the escape go-kart only seats one.

    Page 3: All silent. There’s no sound in space. 😉

    Page 4: Dig it. I almost want him to lose his favorite wrench or a good luck charm like that. I just had the crazy idea of giving him a little Wilson or treasure troll console toy that he can lose.

    Page 5: I was opting for more wide panels to show the sense of isolation and because they might be easier to draw, but I’m open to this. We can flesh this out.

    Page 6: Dig it

    Page 7: I would think that as the story progresses, he’s talking out loud to himself more often to show that isolation. Like inner monologue at the beginning, but by this point, full on conversations with himself. I’d envision he’s almost talking to himself through the comic panels, i.e. panel 1, he’s facing to the right, asking a question, and in panel 2, he’s looking to the left and responding to it.

    Page 8: Might have to think this through once more. I want the story to be a little hopeful, but still a bit of a downer, in that his message is received, giving them enough time to prepare to repel the attack, but the outcome is unclear. Maybe his message never gets through, but he trips some proximity alert and it raises alarms, getting everyone on high alert just as the invasion starts?

    This is great. Love the notes and I’m waiting for us to hash this out soon!