Forums Forums 8-Page Challenge #2 8-Page Challenge #2 > Step 5 > Scripting & Revisions Meatbucket MegaBabes – ‘Time Out at the Time Inn’ – Script Reply To: Meatbucket MegaBabes – ‘Time Out at the Time Inn’ – Script

  • thesurrealari

    Moderator
    April 8, 2021 at 10:57 pm
    make icon 66 Forum Points
    CBS Forum Member: Forum Acolyte

    Jarrod,

    I like this. The story is tight, and I like how you affect the time loop. The only thing that’s tripping me up is the breaking the fourth wall dialogue about comics. I feel like that element could be developed a bit more. Do the others know? Is this a recurring aspect for the character? But overall, it is paced well, and is a cool concept.