• thesurrealari

    Moderator
    April 8, 2021 at 10:17 pm
    make icon 58 Forum Points
    CBS Forum Member: Forum Acolyte

    This is a really cool story <a class=’bp-suggestions-mention’ href=’https://create.comicbookschool.com/members/redheadeded/’ rel=’nofollow’>@redheadeded I love the concept.

    I know you’re planning to draw it your own story, but I don’t know if you’re planning to letter it. One thing you may want to consider is to separate the captions and dialogue out from the panel description. That makes it easier for your letterer to see, and keeps them from missing things.

    Also, there are a few places where you seem to have multiple actions in a panel. Remember that unlike film or animation, the characters are static, and therefore can only do one thing in each panel. You may find you want to separate some of the actions into 2 panels once you start drawing.

    But, overall, I really enjoyed the story. I think you hide the twist well, and that it is paced well too.