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Thank you so much Erin, for your thorough and thoughtful response! I truly wish I had seen it earlier, before I posted my script just now. It still needs work I think, so I'll go through what you have written and give it further thought. -Firstly, I do want the loop to keep cycling. Like they are stuck in an endless purgatory. Nobody has to read it into infinity, or even more than once, but if the loop is broken in the story, then there is no loop to speak of. I don't want to make more than one version that might have a different ending on a subsequent reading. It's just a standalone episode that has no influence on future or past episodes. Just meant to be fun and quirky way to tell a story, something I haven't attempted before. -You bring up great points about everything being unclear. I really wanted to have a clear reason for everything happening, even if I didn't expressly exposit it in the story. In fact I did actually want to keep it quite vague and unexplained (or at least not 'over-explained' which I think I have a habit of doing), though I do realise the importance of knowing it myself.
I have to say, that because I didn't have as much time as I would have liked (Funny that, considering this premise!) due to being so busy with work, that I kind of just had to go with it all being quite ambiguous and leaving these questions unanswered.
All these elements do kind of blend together, kind in parallel to the story; Where does it begin? Where does it start? Which comes first? (Maybe I should have entitled it 'The Chicken and the Egg'! -Or maybe 'The Egg and the Chicken'!) The most I have explained it all in the script is that the Time Inn hotel is a 'spiritual nexus where good and evil battle for eternity for souls...'
To be honest, I hadn't even thought of a cause for the time loop. That was just meant to be a quirk of storytelling. -That was basically my first idea for a story, then I realised for it to work, the characters couldn't have memory, so I had to say a reason why they didn't remember. Haha, so for both themes I'm basically just going with 'Spiritual Nexus'; 'Nuff said!
About the artifact and the monster (Housemother); the artifact is kind of the opposite to its cage. So the artifact manifests the monster into physical form so it can be drawn to the black hole and destroyed - by the artifact itself. I've been over this so many times in my head, and on the one hand it would make more sense if the unbroken artifact DID imprison the monster and unleash it when it gets broken, but then that affects how it would lead the MegaBabes out of the hotel and towards the black hole... While writing the script I stumbled upon making it so the Housemother envelops the Concierge (and the Bellboy) into itself into one being when it is awoken. I just went with that, hopefully so it might illustrate the Concierge's motivation a bit more - So he is one with the great powerful Housemother entity... I really want to thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback. I'm a bit ashamed that I didn't see it earlier. Obviously I have bitten off more than I can chew with this story (Which was intended to be simple!!) It would benefit from a more experienced Writer's hand, and clearly needs more time and thought poured into it to make it what it could be. Unfortunately I just haven't had the time to do that lately. Please have a read of my script and let me know if there are any glaring plot-holes or questions that need to be answered or details that need to be explained, or if I have managed to glaze over them successfully enough to get away with it. Thanks again,
-Jarrod.

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