Forums › Forums › 8-Page Challenge #2 › 8-Page Challenge #2 > Step 5 > Scripting & Revisions › Lost Inn Repose PDF › Reply To: Lost Inn Repose PDF
ModeratorApril 1, 2021 at 8:35 am
This is a fun story and I loved how these two eventually became friends but I agree with Dave and would add some form of “peace” between the two, sometime in the middle of the fighting. Purely for logic reasons (it IS odd that they went at it nonstop for 30+years) and because it also gives a chance for an even more “earned” ending. Having a page where they’re not necessarily having dinner together, but maybe having a competitive hunt for food and then a hostile dinner prep with an insulting food fight at the meal.
Or even some sibling-like hostilities when they’re each trying to sleep. Like one putting the other’s hand in a bucket of water while they sleep or doing the tickling the ear with foam in their hand kinda trick. The whole time, they could be complaining about their own issues (the ones that they mention at the end) and it and it will feel just a touch more earned. Because as the readers, we know they were listening to each other based on logic, but if their issues didn’t just pop up at the end, we’d know where the issues came from. Just something to break up the monotonous fight-fight-fight pages. Otherwise, this is gonna be a great story.