Forums › Forums › 8-Page Challenge #2 › 8-Page Challenge #2 > Step 5 > Scripting & Revisions › Time In By The Stars – Script and Revisions › Reply To: Time In By The Stars – Script and Revisions
ModeratorApril 1, 2021 at 8:00 am
I really enjoyed this story, you have some awesome imagery and when you described page 3 initially, I had this huge image of the chandelier’s stars mixed with stars on the ceiling and the family’s silhouette lost among them, but now I see that the panels are actually the chandelier’s star-shaped crystals… very cool.
I have a few questions about primarily the last pages, there seems to be a lot going on. 8-9 panels is a lot. It doesn’t seem like you have a big ‘moment’ to finish on. And with your big “universal” idea is seems unfair that the last of the story is told in tiny panels.
Not saying you should go and change anything necessarily, but have you thought about a single panel with the characters positioned in a sequential order to tell the tale, and the entire background is one image of the galaxy, where the stars fill up the upper left corner, but then gradually disappear until there are none in the lower right? The page could even go white in the lower right to signify the end of time. Just some food for thought.
This story has the potential for some epically cool imagery, I’m dying for you to capitalize on it!