Forums Forums 8-Page Challenge #2 8-Page Challenge #2 > Step 3 > Plot Revisions Meatbucket MegaBabes – ‘Time Out at the Time Inn’ – Plot Revisions Reply To: Meatbucket MegaBabes – ‘Time Out at the Time Inn’ – Plot Revisions

  • redheadeded

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    March 29, 2021 at 6:09 am
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    CBS Forum Member: Forum Acolyte

    Hey @jarrod-elvin ,

    First off thank you for providing such detailed notes it is helpful to address what you are struggling with. So let’s start just by asking some questions..

    The first being do you want to end the loop in the comic or do you want the loop to continue to cycle > once you address this we can get to a satifiying conclusion.

    Next, You have 3 unclear elements in your story, the Conierge, the Housemother, and the artifact.

    – From what I gather the artifact houses the mother spirit like a cage, the Housemother is the memory eraser, and the Conceirge is the one bringing the other two into this sitcuation that causes the plot to happen.

    – So what is the thing that causes time to loop? the artifact? the black hole? the release of the spirit? or the distancing it from the memories it is eating? is it the breaking of the artifact that resets time, and releases the mother spirit? in which case are the MegaBabes bringing the artifact AND the spirit back to the hotel?

    – With that clear, the motivation of the Conierge is key to understanding why all this is happening, you have some excellent ideas for that motivation, but maybe think about how he got to this point, how does he know the Housemother, and is he effected by her the same way as the MegaBabes? if not, why not, and how does he know about the artifact? basically to know why he wants to stay in the loop, we need to think about why/how he started it. That might help with his motivations for staying as well.

    The fact that the Concierge wants the Artifact can be as simple as a Genie in a bottle, he controls the housemother spirit with it in his possesion, or as complicated as she is bound to it, and therefore he needs it to have her nearby but why it is fixed or broken maybe the link you need to work through as to how and why the loop happens and how things are reset.

    Also the battery recharge in space is more than enough reason to stop at a nearby ‘Time Inn’, or the MegaBabes are exhausted from running from the Concierge or Housemother spirit with the Artifact, but they don’t rememeber why they are exhausted till the restart the loop?

    I find myself thinking that for some reason they forget what the artifact is and casually throw it in a black hole at the end and start looking for a new hotel to rest and reset their ships power supplies. But that’s just me..

    And while this could be easier with just a few or even one of the MegaBabes, I love them all, and I wouldn’t be able to tell you to choose, so I vote for all of them in their girlie group glory. But then again, I’m not on the line to draw them. 😉

    Good Luck, let me know if an inperson chat or video call would help. I am really really looking forward to this one.

    D Alley, The Redheadeded