Forums › Forums › 8-Page Challenge #2 › 8-Page Challenge #2 > Step 5 > Scripting & Revisions › Lost Inn Repose PDF › Reply To: Lost Inn Repose PDF
MemberMarch 27, 2021 at 6:02 am20 Forum PointsCBS Forum Member: Forum Acolyte
Thanks for sharing Jack!
I really enjoyed this, it was fun. I’m excited to see the magics fly, but more importantly I like how Sev and Elle learn to understand each other.
Two quick points of feedback: 1: Consider cutting both the opening narration and the closing narration. Maybe let the visuals show the story and emotion that we should be feeling, rather than telling us what to feel?
2: I won’t lie, the logic of how Sev could be alive for a 30 year fight with no breaks confused me. I like the immense amount of time they fight, and the reveal that the fight brings the two characters together, but this tripped me up. Maybe show a panel of the two of them grumpily sharing a meal in there?
Great ending, too!