• Dave

    March 27, 2021 at 6:02 am
    make icon 20 Forum Points
    CBS Forum Member: Forum Acolyte

    Thanks for sharing Jack!

    I really enjoyed this, it was fun. I’m excited to see the magics fly, but more importantly I like how Sev and Elle learn to understand each other.

    Two quick points of feedback: 1: Consider cutting both the opening narration and the closing narration. Maybe let the visuals show the story and emotion that we should be feeling, rather than telling us what to feel?

    2: I won’t lie, the logic of how Sev could be alive for a 30 year fight with no breaks confused me. I like the immense amount of time they fight, and the reveal that the fight brings the two characters together, but this tripped me up. Maybe show a panel of the two of them grumpily sharing a meal in there?

    Great ending, too!