Reply To: #8PgChallenge – STEP 2 – Feedback + Plotting

#669
Rakeem Nelson
Participant

@Joel Barker I love the comedy woven towards the end of your script, but I’m not sold on Stephen’s turn to lunacy just yet. Him going from looking at his phone seeing fake news to attacking Mark feels sharp. I feel like you can have Stephan become a little stranger earlier.

@Double Barrel Theatre You do a wonderful job of giving your main character an out for the case Mainly because simple solutions always trip up complicated people. There’s also a lot of information that you include in your plot summary, like the kind of establishment they’re at, that kind of weights down the story. Will you be giving this background information through caption narrations with an unnamed narrator or will Gary be the narrator for this story?

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