Reply To: #8PgChallenge – STEP 2 – Feedback + Plotting

#600
Kris Burgos
Participant

Hey everyone, this is an exercise I learned for writing screeplays in college that I feel works with the page plotting format @buddyscalera is having us do. If this helps in your process, feel free to use it. I know many writers go over pages of a script with their artists and work out how characters are feeling during the pages to give the artists a better sense of how to illustrate them. What I do is a full breaking down every character’s state of mind per page/scene. It’s a handy tool if given to artists and also, as a writer, you can start to see if there’s actually any character growth/change over the course of the story.

Basically, we have the breakdown of each page written, and then I go through each and make a translation of what’s each character’s motivation is on a per/panel or per/page basis. It helps the artist know exactly how the character “looks” while they are drawing them and it helps the writer with writing characters’ thoughts (if they do them in thought bubbles or captions).

After writing mine up for “No Shelter”, it would actually be pretty hilarious if I used this for dialogue instead of what I’m planning because it would make for a completely different comic. Remember, this is not the script and goes hand-in-hand with the plot page breakdown.

No Shelter Character State Page Breakdown

Gunnar: Viking Warrior
Kaia: 8-yr old girl
Monster 1
Monster 2

Page 1
– Gunnar: Hide! Stay safe! What’s going on??? Questioning my value/man’s value; Questioning the world/my sanity? I’m not ready to die! Ooh I wonder who that is?

Page 2
– Gunnar: Stay hidden! Don’t be seen! Who can it be? What am I going to do for somebody else? What can they do for me?

Page 3
– Gunnar: Fuck! It’s a kid. She’s a burden. She’ll get me killed. The 40 grown-ass men I was with were wiped out, what’s this kid going to do for me? The only way out is a suicide run and I have no weapon to boot!
– Kaia: Who’s that!? Is he alone? Can he get me out of here? Is he a hero? Or a zero?

Page 4
– Kaia: Don’t leave me behind! Take me with you! I can get you a weapon! I can help you to get me out of here!
– Gunnar: Weapons?! I’ll need those to have a chance crossing the open space. You know where to find them?! Damn, I guess I’ll have to keep you alive for a bit

Page 5
– Gunnar: Careful girl! Stay in the shadows! Watch out! You’re gonna get us killed!
– Kaia: Don’t go that way! It’s this way!
– Monster 1: Hmmm… what’s that?!

Page 6
– Gunnar: YAAASSSS! A new shield and axe! Fuck yeah. Now we stand a chance of escape. I guess this girl is alright. Hush! I hear something… if shit goes down… you run, I’ll hold them off.
– Kaia: Thanks for saving my ass out there. See, I am helpful. AHHH! Another monster!
– Monster 1: I smell something over here… ugh! (loses head)
– Monster 2: Dinner!!!!

Page 7
– Gunnar: Oh shit. Run Girl! Oh shit. Wait! Oh shit. Fuck! Don’t bite my face off. Don’t eat me. YAAASSS, little girl comes through with a second assist! Fuck you in the head, Monster!
– Kaia: HERE! My SWORD! Get up, we need to get out before more hear us and come.
– Monster 2: Winner WINNER, Chicken DINNER! And the little girl will be dessert… ugh! (knife in head)

Page 8
– Kaia: I guess they heard us! My SWORD!! Let’s go mother-fuckers! Oh shit. Those are pretty lights. What? We’re fucked? I’ve got your back if you’ve got mine!
– Gunnar: We’re surrounded. Damn. At least they’ll all die with me. Let’s see how many me and this little badass can kill before we’re all toast. Chins out bitches, we’re going to Valhalla!

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