Reply To: #8PgChallenge – STEP 2 – Feedback + Plotting

#551
philipspace
Participant

The Anachronists:
Trapped in Time

Characters;

Xandra – 20 year old woman from the 25th Century, a research assistant turned time-traveller. Smart, optimistic, but hates violence and carries no weapons.

Mattias Smith – Male, mid 30’s. Cowboy/gunfighter from the 19th Century, of African descent, accidental time-travelling companion of Xandra. Tough, capable, but a little too ready to settle disputes with force.

Michel – 16-year-old 12th Century French noble. Land holdings in England, understudy to Edmond the Black. Brave but inexperienced, he’s been training to become a knight when his guardsmen (led by Edmond) capture Xandra and Mattias.

Edmond the Black – Male, late 30’s. English feudal lord. Ruthless and capable, he seeks to take possession of Michel’s land holdings for himself.

Professor Winters – Male, early 50’s. 25th Century professor of applied temporal physics. Brilliant but quite mad. I haven’t nailed down his exact motivation yet, but Xandra’s trying to stop him whatever it is. He only shows up in one page in this story.

Fred “Killer” Miller – Male, mid-30’s. A 19th century bandit/gunfighter who has become Professor Winters henchman. Shifty and untrustworthy, he also only shows up in about 2 panels with Prof. Winters.

Plot breakdown;
Page 1: Xandra and Mattias racing through a forest side-by-side, Mattias is carrying a repeater rifle. Xandra checks a device attached to her ear as she runs. They are being pursued by medieval guards and two men on horseback.

Page 2: Xandra and Mattias come to a cliff. Mattias raises his rifle but Xandra stops him, “They might be someone’s ancestors!” Edmond the Black is one of the horsemen (the other is Michel). He informs them that they are trespassing and will be escorted back to their castle.

Page 3: The guards walk Xandra and Mattias back at spearpoint. Michel asks Edmond if this is necessary, and Edmond, as mentor and caretaker of his lands assures him that he cannot afford to take any chances with security.
Xandra and Mattias walk under the portcullis and wonder “Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.” Last panel– behind bars, “Maybe not”.

Page 4: Castle, Great Hall. Edmond is being addressed by Prof. Winters about how to deal with the boy in exchange for his prisoners. The Professor hands him a repeater rifle, which Edmond receives with a smile. Evil laughing ensues. Listening in at the door however is young Michel.

Page 5: Castle, dungeon. Mattias and Xandra discuss how they can escape. Mattias wanted to use his superior firepower, but Xandra argues that there must be a better way. A door creaks open, revealing Michel armed with a sword, who unlocks their cell.

Page 6: No time to argue, they grab their gear and bolt down the hallway—and immediately run into guards. Running the other way, they dart into a side room. Mattias has guns at the ready but Michel waves him in.

Page 7: Michel bars the door to the room. On the other side of the door Edmond orders that it be bashed in. Inside the room Michel drops to his knee and pledges to help Xandra and Mattias escape any way that he can.

Page 8: “That door’s not going to hold!” shouts Mattias. Xandra points a remote-control type device and opens a time-portal. She steps through, with the two men backing toward it. Final panel the three of them looking confused, standing in a modern-day (circa 21st century) city with drawn sword, repeater, and Time-wand at the ready.

Maybe surrounded by police, I haven’t decided yet.

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