Reply To: #8PgChallenge – STEP 2 – Feedback + Plotting

#526
Samuel Barber
Participant

Red Angel Dragnet
Plot/Page Breakdown: Chapter 4 – Where do we go from here?

Page 1:
Est Shot:It’s late evening at a tavern in a small town in Italy.
The tavern is quiet with only a few of the locals inside relaxing and enjoying the peace. Primrose(a tall, fighter framed person with both soft and sharp features – sexually ambiguous – male or female) is keeping an eye on the surroundings and not being attentive to Alabaaster(a large framed man with ancient looks – Ethiopian) who is doing most of the talking. It’s obvious these two are comfortable here and have known each other for quite some time. Primrose knows Alabaaster always has an agenda and is suspicious of the meeting as Alabaaster remanences about their previous adventures.

Page 2/Page 3:
Alabaaster begins to hedge to why he has reunited with Primrose again when a group of 6 tough and hardened men and women come busting into the small tavern. Loud and intrusive, they come in not afraid of anyone and acting like they own the place. The group gets the attention of Primrose and Alabaaster. Just a few fleeting glances nothing that would need any action from our pair. As the group ramp up their good time, a young girl comes into the bar. The tavern owner obviously know the girl and gives her some food and water and tries to usher her out quickly when the “leader” of the group that came in takes an eye to the young girl (she is pretty, in her late teens early 20s, thin framed and looks as if she is poor-unkept clothes, little dirty).

Page 4:
The harassment of the young girl begins to escalate with the whole gang taking part in it. Primrose, who has been watching the events very carefully, looks over to see Alabaaster already in position for a fight. As the gang decides to take the girl from the bar, they turn to see Alabaaster blocking the side exit the tavern owner was trying to get the girl to go out of earlier. Then the group hears a door bolt shut and turn to see Primrose standing at the main entrance/exit and the fight begins.

Page 5/Page 6/Page 7
The gang are good fighters but not good enough to beat out Primrose and Alaabaster. When our heroes subdue the 5 gang members, they turn their attention to the leader, who has been watching the fight while restraining the girl. As Primrose and Alabaaster move in on the leader, he begins to shake and shutter violently. When the movement Is finished, Primrose and Alabaaster sees the leader in his true demonic form. The leader now releases the girl to fall on the floor and turns his back on our heroes to destroy the girl. As the leader moves in on her, the girl becomes more and more terrified and begins to scream. Only this scream escalates to almost a song and begins to tear apart the demon and continues to do so until the demon is completely destroyed. The girl faints from exhaustion.

Page 8:
Primrose looks at Alabaaster with a inquisitive look, Alabaaster looks back with a smirk. Primrose knows this is why Alabaaster wanted to meet in this tavern tonight. Without saying much Primrose walks over to the girl and picks her up. Alabaaster talks to the tavern owner in whispers and hands him some money for the damages and his silence. Primrose exits the tavern carrying the girl and places her in Alabaaster’s side car and hops on her bike. Alabaaster exits the tavern and gets on his bike. The two discuss the plan to take the girl to Primroses convent and discuss what to do next with the Mother Superior. Primrose puts on her habit and robe and they ride off for the next chapter.

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