Reply To: #8PgChallenge – STEP 2 – Feedback + Plotting

#521
Kyle Rose
Participant

Hello all,

Here is my Page, by page breakdown. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning
By Kyle Rose
Plot breakdown

Abigail’s arc: Learning to accept responsibility for her actions

Page 1
Establishing shot: The woods. The story opens in medias res as Abigail is stomping around the woods while monologuing to herself about an argument she had with her parents off-panel. This monologue is presented in captions that overlay her movement in this scene. Subtextually we can glean the fight was about her not accepting responsibility for her actions. She stumbles upon the time machine and falls in. It blips out of existence.

Page 2
In the future, the time machine appears, and Abigail tumbles out. Stunned, she starts to take in the sights around her and is noticed by a police officer (who can be seen in the background of the first panel). He approaches and questions her about the time machine.

Page 3
Not satisfied with Abigail’s answers, the officer (Officer Rob) says he’s arresting her for stealing the time machine. She pleads that this isn’t the case, and she has no idea how she got there. He radios into headquarters that he’s apprehended someone for temporal theft. Abigail takes this opportunity to break his grip and flee.

Page 4
Abigail gives chase. She puts some distance between her and Officer Rob before being spotted by pigeons wearing security cameras. Dispatch Radio’s Abigail’s position to rob.

Page 5
Abigail ducks behind an information kiosk, thinking she is safe. Rob finds her, and their final standoff ends practically before it begins when Abigail throws her phone at him.

Page 6
Abigail spots another time machine being washed by its owner. Knocking him over, she jumps inside and slams the door shut. The machine’s A.I. asks her when she wants to go. She tells it 5 minutes before she left. The A.I. scans her, gets a temporal lock, and blinks out of existence.

Page 7
The time machine pops back into the present. Abigail runs back to the campsite to warn herself. When she gets there, her parents tell her, ‘that was quick.” Realizing she has just missed herself, she runs back into the woods.

Page 8
She gets to the time machine just in time to see her ‘past self’ fall in. After witnessing the loop she’s created, she returns to the campsite. With the realization that she was indeed guilty of stealing the time machine, she apologizes to her family for not taking responsibility for her earlier transgression.

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